I used to think that someone else could make me happy. If they just changed, I’d be happy. If someone loved me, I’d be happy. If I had great friends, I’d be happy. If my family, boss or coworkers gave me credit for what I did for them, I’d be happy. When these people didn’t measure up, I was unhappy.
I made a fatal mistake – depending on other people to make me happy – thinking if they changed, I’d be happy. I put my happiness in the hands of others. All along though, my happiness was under my control. I could decide to be happy even if I was single, friendless or unappreciated.
Happiness is my perspective on my life, not based on the feedback of others. I have to change if I want to be happy. I need to love myself to be happy. I need to be comfortable being alone to be happy. I need to be confident in my own actions to be happy.
I really believe that you can’t be in a successful, fulfilling relationship if you don’t love yourself. I don’t think you can have good friends until you know how to be a good friend. I don’t think you can do a good job at anything if you constantly need someone telling you how great you are – the motivation, the feeling of accomplishment must come from within.
And when things are not going well, I know I am the one who needs to make some changes. Only I can change my life. You can’t change other people. Don’t even waste your time. You can try to influence other people but only they can change. So don’t look to others to make you happy. Look in the mirror.